You went on an epic A First Date with a guy and brought your A-game. It’s the next day, and you want to text him to tell him you had an amazing night, but you don’t want to look like a desperate Debbie. Maybe he has already texted you, and you’re obsessing over what it means and how to respond. But what on earth do you text a guy after a first date to let him know you’d love to see him again without Tubit.com scaring him away?
It’s easy to over-analyze things, rewrite your message a hundred times only to think it’s all super-cringe, and delete everything.
You could ask your friends for help, but if they’re single and known for ending up in complicated situationships, they’re probably not going to give you the best advice. Scratch that; they’re going to give you terrible advice.
In this post, I’m sharing when and what to text a guy after a first date to guarantee yourself a second one.
When To Text A Guy After A First Date
In your teens and twenties, it’s an unwritten rule that you’ve got to wait 3.6 days before you text or call someone after a date or until they text you first. This is how you create that IDGAF (I don’t give a f*ck) vibe that is supposed to make a guy or girl want you even more. We all eventually grow out of this phase (hopefully).
Imagine if you had an amazing time with a guy now, and he didn’t text you for three days. You would assume he didn’t connect with you, and you’d probably give up hope that you would hear from him.
As we get older, transparency becomes more important because we realize that time is finite and we’re secure enough to be open and honest with people. If a man is into you, he’ll be pumped to hear from you. And if he didn’t feel a spark, you’ll find out much sooner than if you both waited X number of days to pick up the phone.
There are no concrete rules for when to text a guy after a first date. Later that evening or the next day is a good window to aim for and ensure you’re being respectful. Tubit This also gives you enough time to reflect on the date and decide if you want to see each other again.
You don’t need to wait for a man to text you after a date, especially if he was the one who asked you out and planned the date. If that is the case, it’s polite to thank him and tell him that you had a nice time (if you did). As this was your first meeting in person, you’ll probably have a lot to say, but make sure you keep your message short and sweet. Texting is not for writing essays!
This is a great way to open up the conversation and see if a Second Date might be on the cards. If he beats you to it, don’t play it cool and wait to respond. This won’t increase your chances of a second date!
What to Text A Guy After A First Date
One of the reasons there is so much pressure on that first text after a first date is that you’re wondering if the other person wants to see you again. This confusion can be eliminated if you have this conversation at the end of your first date. It doesn’t need to be awkward. If he doesn’t bring it up, saying something like, “I’ve had a really nice time tonight,” can help kick-start the conversation and see where his head is.
If this doesn’t happen, or you need a little more time to consider whether you want to go on a second date, reflect on how it went. Does he meet your love vision? How did he make you feel? Do you want to see him again?
Once You’ve Made Your Decision, Then you’re Ready to Text Him.
Here’s what to text a guy after a first date (if you want a second).
1. Say Thank You
It might sound boring or unoriginal, but you’d be surprised how refreshing it is in our modern dating world (of ghosting and Netflix & chilling) when someone thanks you after a date.
Text him something like, “Thank you for last night. I had a wonderful time getting to know you better!”
This is a great way to start a conversation with him, see if he feels the same, and potentially bag yourself a second date.
2. Remind Him of a Highlight From Your Date
What was a stand-out moment from the date for you? What was your favorite part? Did you eat some amazing food? Did you learn something unbelievable about him? Or did he make you laugh so hard that you shot water out of your nose?
Capture this moment in your message to him. Say something like, “Last night was fun! My highlight of the date was when (insert your highlight here)… it’s still bringing a smile to my face.”
This walk down memory lane will bring him back to your date and, if it was a success, how much he enjoyed being in your company.
3. Follow up on Something From Your Date
If you had a great time on your first date and want to see him again, chances are the conversation flowed, and you had a lot to talk about. Why end the conversation there? Pick up on something you spoke about when you text him.
“Hey! I was thinking about what you said last night about (insert topic here) – that was super interesting. I’d love to know more.”
Or nudge him about an in-joke.
“I still can’t believe you said if you could only eat one thing for the rest of your life, it’d be broccoli. What the heck?!”
4. Comment on Something Positive About The First Date
People love to be around other positive, happy, high-energy people. Following up after your first date is a brilliant way to continue with this energy and remind him how good you made him feel on your date.
That could mean you comment on how nice the bar was or how great the food was.
“I can’t believe I’ve lived in this town for years and never been to that bar. It was so fun!”
“That was hands down the best lobster I’ve ever eaten. I’m still thinking about it now!”
If he’s unsure whether you had a good time, this will clear up any doubts and give him the go-ahead to ask you on a second date.
5. Share A Link to Something Happening They’d be Into
Use what you learned on your date about this guy and shared things you have in common to drop into your text. Maybe there’s a band you both love, a sport, or perhaps you’re both really into wine (more than the average person). Do some (light) research and see what’s happening around you. If you see something you’d both enjoy, drop the link in a text to him.
“Did you know that (insert band) is playing in town next month?”
“There’s a cooking class in this amazing restaurant downtown that I think you would love!”
There’s always room for not-so-subtle hints that you want to go on a second date.
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6. Make It Clear You’d Like to Meet Up Again
I don’t recommend asking a guy on a second date because letting him ask you out again makes him work for it and allows him to lean into his masculine energy (and you into your feminine). But, if you’re feeling confident, you know you want to see him again, and you don’t want to waste time, be clear that you do want to see him again.
“Last night was great. I’m glad we finally got a chance to meet IRL!” We should do it again sometime.”
That’s short and sweet, and to the point. You clearly want to see him again, and you’ve put the ball in his court.